During the rollercoaster of human experience, there are times when we find ourselves lost in a dark place. One example of these personal crises is a time of profound questioning and inner turmoil known as the “dark night of the soul.” The dark night is a journey that strips away material pleasures and the egoic sense of self, leaving us vulnerable and exposed to the rawness of existence. This is an intense period in the spiritual journey that comes just before spiritual awakening. The process forces the old self to undergo a kind of death, paving the way for the birth of your true self and a deeper connection to Spirit.
Jump To:
- What is the dark night of the soul?
- What causes a dark night of the soul?
- What does a dark night of the soul feel like?
- How long does a dark night of the soul last?
- What happens on the other side?
- Final thoughts
What is The Dark Night of the Soul?
The dark night of the soul is a deeply personal time marked by feelings of desolation, emptiness, and meaninglessness.
It is a period of intense inner transformation, where your inner state is shaken to its core, challenging long-held beliefs and assumptions. This dark night is not merely a dark mood or a temporary emotional state; it is a transformative process that ultimately leads to a deep sense of aliveness and a transformed state of consciousness.
A dark night of the soul can be thought of as the period that a seed is first planted in the earth. The seed cannot see the sunlight, does not know what it’s destined to become, and (assuming a seed feels) feels totally alone in a new place.
It’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to end, and it doesn’t feel like you’re moving toward anything – you’re simply enduring. Thankfully, hindsight is 20/20 and others can share their experiences with those going through the dark night to lend encouragement that it will end and life is beautiful on the other side.
What Causes a Dark Night of the Soul?
A dark night of the soul can be triggered by various factors, both internal and external, including life-changing events and emotional revelations.
It may arise from a significant external event, such as the premature death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or a grapple with sobriety. These external events can act as catalysts, forcing us to confront the fragility of our existence and the limited control we really have.
Alternatively, a dark night of the soul can emerge from within, as the result of a deep yearning for spiritual growth and a desire to discover one’s true nature. This inner calling can lead to a voluntary dismantling of the self, as we seek to shed the layers of limiting beliefs that have defined our reality. Through this shadow work, some people eventually discover that they’ve slipped into a life with a deep sense of meaninglessness and it’s this realization that confronts them with their purpose for being here.
What Does a Dark Night of the Soul Feel Like?
The experience of a dark night of the soul is often described as a descent into utter darkness, where nothing seems to make sense anymore.
It is a period of profound questioning, where the familiar landmarks of our lives are stripped away, leaving us feeling lost, disoriented, and disconnected from the world around us. The things that used to be important and make us happy (at least on the surface) no longer fill our cups the way they used to. We can become detached from things, people, places, goals, and identities that were previously a huge part of our lives.
During this time, one may experience a range of intense emotional states, including depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and a deep sense of existential dread. The mind may become a battleground, as old paradigms clash with emerging truths, creating a sense of inner turmoil and confusion. It is important to note that the dark night of the soul is not a mental illness but rather a part of the awakening process, a necessary step towards a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the universe.
Specific symptoms may include:
Detachment from reality
You may feel profoundly untethered to anything, including your body, your life, and your physical surroundings. During the dark night, our grip on the shared reality we normally take for granted becomes tenuous, leaving us feeling disconnected from the world, almost as if living in a waking dream. Sometimes these symptoms are called “de-realization” and “de-personalization.”
Purposelessness
The dark night involves losing touch with previous sources of meaning, purpose, and direction. Oftentimes, the dark night is a time that we cast aside goals and ambitions that had been previously been the driving force of lives. When 3D goals no longer seem as important as they used to, we can be left feeling lost without direction.
Meaninglessness
The ideals, goals, and values that once gave life direction and vibrancy seem to lose all luster during this phase, making it difficult to know what really matters, if anything. A dark night can leave us feeling incredibly small and insignificant. We’re left to grapple with the point of doing, well, anything.
Apathy
Emotional numbness may set in as a coping mechanism for the discomfort of the dark night. Since the dark night seems to take away or meaning and direction, we watch the world go by with very little emotional attachment.
Existential questioning
The dark night compels us to confront the deepest, most unsettling questions about life, death, consciousness, and the fundamental nature of the universe in a ruthless process of stripping away the mind-made framework. A dark night can be incredibly disconcerting and lonely as we grapple with why we’re here, what it all means, and how we fit into the larger picture.
Death of your old self
shedding the former identity: The profundity of the dark night of the soul necessitates the symbolic death of one’s former self-conceptualization – all previous identities and self-models must be let go to be reformed into something radically new. As Eckart Tolle explains the dark night, “It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self.”
How Long Does a Dark Night of the Soul Last?
The duration of a dark night of the soul can vary greatly from person to person.
For some, it may be a brief but intense period, lasting weeks or months. For others, it can be a long and arduous journey, spanning years or even decades.
The length of the dark night often depends on the depth of the transformation required and the individual’s willingness to surrender to the process. Those who resist the transformation or cling to their old identities may find themselves stuck in the dark night for a long time. It’s difficult to admit that we are leaving a version of ourselves behind forever and sometimes during the dark night, we have to grieve this loss before we’re ready to step into who we’re becoming. However, it’s worth the death of the old self to embrace your spiritual awakening and discover who you’ll be on the other side.
What Happens on the Other Side?
On the other side of a dark night of the soul, you will meet a new version of yourself.
While the dark night of the soul is undoubtedly one of life’s most disorienting and harrowing journeys, those who persevere through the abyss find themselves reborn into a radically new way of being. On the other side awaits a profound sense of clarity, authenticity, and wholeness. A new way of seeing yourself and your role in the universe will shine through. By shedding your limiting beliefs and bravely facing life’s biggest mysteries, you’ll gain a greater sense of peace and belonging.
The dark night obliterates the confines of the former egoic identity, making space for a more expansive and integrated self to blossom. It is a soul-level transformation where your mindset, priorities, values, and overall life trajectory realign with your highest truth and deepest callings. At this point in the spiritual journey, the darkness inevitably gives way to an energizing dawn.
Final Thoughts
A dark night of the soul is a profound and challenging experience, but it is also a necessary part of the spiritual awakening process. It is a journey that strips away the illusions and false identities we have constructed, allowing us to emerge into a more authentic and profound way of being.
While the dark nights of the soul can be incredibly difficult, they also hold the promise of great transformation and growth. By surrendering to the process and embracing the uncertainty, we open ourselves to the possibility of a deeper connection with our higher selves and a renewed sense of purpose and meaning through spiritual awakening.
Ultimately, the dark night of the soul is a reminder to let go of materialistic ideals, embrace the unknown, and trust in the unfolding of life’s great mystery.
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Mary Christina
Hey, I'm Mary! My background is in Psychology and I'm a certified Health Coach and Meditation Teacher. I'm also a mental health advocate and believer in personal development as medicine. I write because I'm hopeful that my experiences and learnings as a human are helpful to you--wherever you are.