How to Be More Disciplined (6 Steps)

The word “discipline” is often associated with really hardcore people who wake up every day at 4 a.m. just to run around the block and wouldn’t touch a cheesecake with a 6-foot pole. While that’s certainly one way to engage in self-discipline, a self-disciplined person doesn’t necessarily look this way. All of us who have big dreams and ambitions can benefit from learning how to become more disciplined.

Jump to:

What is self-discipline?

Why is discipline important?

How is self-discipline related to happiness?

Why am I so lazy?

Why are some people naturally disciplined?

6 steps to be more disciplined

Final thoughts

WHAT IS SELF-DISCIPLINE?

Self-discipline is the mindset that allows you to consistently accomplish tasks, big and small, without relying on external incentives to do so.

In other words, self-discipline means sticking to your goals even during tough times and low motivation. It’s what separates the successful people from the unsuccessful.

Discipline is not the same as motivation or inspiration—although those can both be helpful in accomplishing your goals as well. The biggest difference between motivation and self-discipline is that discipline creates healthy habits that keep you on track even when you’re feeling exhausted or burnt out. The good news is, unlike motivation or inspiration, you can learn to develop and grow your discipline and accomplish all of your long-term goals. The benefits of self-discipline are endless and make the process of developing the skill more than worth it.

WHY IS SELF-DISCIPLINE IMPORTANT?

Self-discipline is important because it gives us control over the accomplishment of our goals.

Without self-discipline, it’s easy to fall into bad habits and patterns that lead to disappointment in your professional life, academic performance, physical health, relationships, and more.

Good things take time. Any clear goals or dreams you have for a better life are going to take time, hard work, and self-discipline to achieve. Motivation is always going to come and go. You can’t predict how you’re going to feel when you wake up every day which is why you can’t rely on self control. Not to mention the inevitable curve balls you’ll encounter from life itself! There are many factors in life we have absolutely no control over. That’s why it’s especially important to develop self-discipline: to ensure that your dreams don’t fall to the wayside when the going gets tough.

HOW IS SELF-DISCIPLINE RELATED TO HAPPINESS?

A lack of self-discipline often correlates with a lack of self-esteem and self-esteem plays a huge role in our happiness. 

A lack of self discipline leads to a lack of self-trust. It’s difficult to have confidence in your ability or even your character when you don’t believe you can trust your own word. When we can’t trust ourselves, it makes us feel like liars–not a good thing for our self-esteem. Not only will developing discipline lead to good habits and big accomplishments long term, it will lead to increased self-esteem and more happiness.

WHY AM I SO LAZY?

You’re not lazy—you just need to practice showing up for yourself in order to build your energy, motivation, and discipline.

A lack of discipline is not an indication of a lack of inner strength. Chances are if you believe that you’re a lazy person, you just haven’t done anything recently that would prove otherwise. That can be fixed.

Have you ever heard the phrase “A body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest”? This is a physics principle but it applies to people as well. I’m sure you can think back on a time when you were so interested in something that it felt like you had endless energy to think about and pursue that thing. That energy can be found and cultivated again–it just might take baby steps to get there. 

The idea that some people are naturally lazy and some people are naturally go-getters can be detrimental to your mental health. If you’re really ready to start reaching your goals, it’s important to adopt a growth mindset. According to psychologist Carol Dweck, a Growth Mindset says that everyone can always learn and improve in any area. A fixed mindset will tell you that you can never significantly improve your intelligence or skills–don’t listen to this belief. You have it within you to become anyone you want to be and the first step to becoming a disciplined person is to believe it’s possible.

(Related: How to Stop Being Lazy (3 Practical Steps))

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE NATURALLY DISCIPLINED?

Social media would have us believe that some people are naturally more disciplined than others, but that’s not the whole story.

The extremely self-disciplined people that you see waking up early, never missing a workout, casually writing a book in their spare time have just been practicing their disciplined mindset for a long time. So, of course, they’ve gotten good at it!

Believe it or not, YOU can become one of those people! Whether you’re battling a dependence on junk food, you can’t get a handle on time management, or you simply want to stick to a better routine–you have the power to reach your goal. You may have to step outside your comfort zone and start with small goals to prove to yourself you can do it, but pretty soon you won’t even recognize the person you’ve become. 

Read on to learn exactly how to develop your self-discipline so that good habits become second nature.

6 STEPS TO BE MORE DISCIPLINED

Developing discipline takes practice, commitment, and baby steps. You’ll have to be willing to think of this as a long-term goal in and of itself. Meaning, developing self-discipline doesn’t happen overnight. But again, the importance of self-discipline in achieving your goals can’t be overstated. 

You’re off to a great start by taking the time to learn what discipline is all about. Many people don’t know or don’t believe that discipline is something you can develop! You’re about to crack the secret to living out your dream life—it’s a mindset you can learn.

These six steps will lead to more discipline: start with small changes, stack your habits over time, improve your self-talk, figure out your “why,” celebrate your wins, and try more hard things.

Read on for a more in-depth look at how to become more disciplined.

1. Start with Small Changes

It’s important to start by making small changes to your routine and promises that you can consistently follow through on in the long run. 

One very common mistake we make when we get a bit of motivation or inspiration is to jump in headfirst and try to achieve all our goals all at once. 

This is not only completely exhausting and impractical, but when it inevitably fails, you’ll have even less confidence in yourself to try again next time. By starting with one small step, you can build up your confidence and self-trust, and you won’t burn out before you really even get started.

Eventually, you can start to stack habits that lead to a specific goal. The small small tasks can become bigger more important tasks in pursuit of your big goal. For more on that process, check out this article: How To Set And Accomplish Big, Powerful Goals.

2. Stack Your Habits Over Time

If you’ve never read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, I can’t recommend it highly enough.

The premise of this incredibly popular book is that it’s more effective to stack small habits on top of each other one by one over time than it is to try to add a bunch of new habits into your routine all at once. Again, that’s exhausting and unsustainable. Like in any relationship, you’ll have to build trust with yourself slowly but surely over time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your new daily routine won’t be either.

Start by adding or improving one small habit and after a little while, stack a second habit on top of it. 

For example, you may start by drinking a glass of water first thing every morning. Then a week later, each time the glass is empty, you may stack the habit of reading five pages out of a book. You’ll be amazed how quickly you can turn one tiny new habit into a full-blown morning routine that improves your energy, confidence, and discipline. Remember, try not to overwhelm yourself with a new to-do list a mile long. Start slow and build up your routine over time.

3. Improve Your Self-Talk

One excellent way to boost your self-confidence and jump into the feedback loop of self-trust and self-discipline is to improve your negative self-talk.

Self-discipline is a two-way street with self-trust. When you believe you can do hard things, you’re more likely to follow through on your commitments. When you follow through on your commitment, you’re more likely to believe you can do hard things. 

You, like everyone else in the world, probably have a ton of negative self-talk running through your head every day. Negative self-talk refers to the mean things you say to yourself throughout the day. For example, do you ever hear: you’re lazy, you’re a slob, you’re never gonna reach your goals, you don’t deserve to reach your goals, you’re weak etc etc etc? This is your brain engaging in negative self-talk.

This type of negative self-talk can be detrimental to building lasting self discipline. One of the most important things you can do for the sake of building discipline is to get to know your self-talk. Listen to the way you speak to yourself and do your best to engage in more positive self-talk. The confidence boost that improved self-talk can provide will become instrumental in developing self-discipline. At the end of the day, developing discipline is a mindset shift. You can begin this shift by noticing your self-talk.

(Related: Rewire Your Brain and Change Your Negative Self-Talk (4 Simple Steps))

4. Figure Out Your “Why”

Have you ever stopped to consider why you want to change your habits and achieve your specific goals? 

One of the major reasons we have such a hard time sticking to habits and routines even if we know they’re good for us, is that we have a lifetime’s worth of evidence showing us that we don’t have to do those things—we won’t die if we fall off the wagon one more time. Not to mention the lifetime worth of evidence showing us we can’t stick to our goals anyway.

Our brains are remarkably good at convincing us we don’t have to do hard things. If you want to re-wire your brain to start doing the hard things anyway, it’s going to take very intentional thought. 

Go deep. What areas of your life do you want more discipline? Why are those things important to you? Why do you want to cut out bad habits? How would accomplishing your goal make you feel, how would it change the way you see yourself, how would it improve your confidence, what are you giving up on if you don’t do it? Etc. The best way to stick to a goal is to know exactly why that goal matters to you in the first place.

(Related: What’s Your Why? How To Craft A Strong Personal Why Statement (With Examples))

5. Celebrate Your Wins

While you’re cultivating a disciplined mindset, it’s important to celebrate your wins and recognize how far you’ve come.

It’s way too easy to get swept up in the daily life of your personal growth journey and forget to look back at how far you’ve come. Once you start to see the momentum from following these tips, time will start to fly and you can easily forget where you started.

Just like we train dogs and teach kids to behave by using positive reinforcement, we need to do the same thing for ourselves during huge mindset transformations. The journey is long and rocky and without taking moments to be proud of what we’re doing, it can become draining. Be proud of how much time you’ve invested into reaching your goals and becoming your best self.

I know it can be hard to carve out time to celebrate while you’re pushing towards big goals and dreams, but if you don’t, you might be shooting yourself in the foot. Your mind and body will demand rest eventually—give it to yourself freely before that happens! And on that note, make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Sleep will be your new best friend.

6. Try More Hard Things

One of the best things you can do to exponentially increase your self-trust and therefore your self-discipline is to try something that scares you. 

Like I said earlier, discipline is a byproduct of learning to deeply trust yourself. Try a new hobby, have a vulnerable conversation, say “yes” to something random that a friend suggests, don’t drink for a few days…only you know what things scare you and that you’re inclined to avoid so you don’t feel dumb/weak/inferior etc. You never know, pushing yourself outside your comfort zone in any area of your life may help you realize what you’re capable of and have a life-changing personal experience.

If you’re really going to become a disciplined person, you’re also going to have to become a brave person. Start facing your fears and prove to yourself that you are capable of doing hard things. Through this journey, you may even have the extra benefits of making new meaningful relationships and learning a new skill that you enjoy.  

FINAL THOUGHTS

It’s important to remember that completely changing your mindset and building self-discipline isn’t going to happen overnight. What’s important isn’t that you start being “perfect” immediately.

The important thing in improving your self-discipline is that you stay committed to moving in the right direction.​

Start with small changes, stack your habits over time, improve your self-talk, figure out your “why,” celebrate your wins, and try more hard things, and you’ll be absolutely amazed at how quickly you will drastically improve your self-trust and start to feel like a different person. With these steps, you can have better physical health, powerful spiritual growth, or any other positive results you’re excited for. Be patient. Good things take time. 

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